I’m a Christ follower who speaks fluent sarcasm but has a big heart and a pretty deep mind as well (I think we would call that being balanced). I love life, people, my kids, dogs and the STL Cardinals and the World Series winning Houston Astros…oh yeah and high heels….especially if they’re red.
I have lived a life like most people’s. It’s had its ups and downs – but the last the last ten have been especially uncommon as I’ve been widowed twice in a decade.
I married Greg when I was twenty and we had two children, several dogs and a few hamsters. On May 29, 2007 I left home to show property to a client and Greg was fine, but when I returned home a few hours later – he was unconscious on our patio and our 18-year-old son was giving him CPR. Greg never regained consciousness. He died suddenly and very unexpectedly from a form of arrhythmia. Life felt like it had been turned upside down as we learned to live without part of our hearts and overcome the shock of sudden death. My kids were 18 and 12 when they became fatherless and at 40, I entered the widows club.
Fast forward three years and in 2010 I married Don.
We had fun no matter what we were doing (just ask any of our FB friends because we have the selfies to prove it). We traveled, went to Cardinal games, co-wrote an online weekly bible study and laughed – A LOT!!! In October of 2014 Don began having issues with his speech and after six months of every test you can think of, it was determined that he had ALS, which is also known as Lou Gehrig’s Disease and is terminal. I can’t even tell you how devastating that was (but will attempt to do so in future blogs). The very thing you think won’t happen again now loomed in our future.
After a fairly slow progression, in April of 2016 his disease began to progress more rapidly than it had been. In April we walked around San Antonio and by October he couldn’t walk and his speech was pretty much gone. After being home for three days from a three-week long road trip, Don ended up in the hospital with pneumonia. He was intubated and we spent twelve days in the ICU. We made arrangements to have the tube removed and placed him on a non invasive form of ventilation. He was alert and doing well (by advanced ALS standards). On December 5, 2016 we came home on Hospice care, and he passed away late in the evening on December 6, 2016.
All of that (and more), led me to begin blogging (which my FB friends are really grateful for because I’m sure they were tired of my overly long posts).
The fact that I kept pushing on, in spite of overwhelming heartache and sorrow, became a theme in my writing. I was repeatedly encouraged to begin a blog and write a book in hopes that others might benefit from my experiences. I don’t sugar coat my feelings and have had my writing described as raw and authentic (and even occasionally snarky). So – consider yourself warned!
However, I can only tell my story. The emotions and feelings I have are mine. While there are similar themes amongst all who grieve, our grief is as unique as our fingerprints are, and I, in no way, can encapsulate what everyone feels as I write my posts. I do hope that others will be helped, or even feel validated, as they read what I share.
Regardless of where you are in life, or what you are experiencing, I hope you never give up and that you too, keep going. With my faith in God and His sustaining ability, I am still here – and as long as I am I want people to be able to say…..she kept going.